


Coming to Terms

by lady_dorkula



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Asphyxiation, Banter, Barbara Gordon is mentioned, Batjokes, Blood and Injury, Bloodplay, Bruce Wayne Being an Idiot, Bruce will be prepared next time, Canon-Typical Violence, Dick Grayson too, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, Fingerfucking, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Joker (DCU) Being Joker (DCU), Love/Hate, M/M, Old Married Couple, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Protectiveness, Roughhousing, Smut, Spit and blood as lube, Unsafe Sex, Use real lube, Wall Sex, but mostly - Freeform, seriously don't do that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_dorkula/pseuds/lady_dorkula
Summary: Who would have thought that physically and emotionally entangling yourself with your arch nemesis could be so problematic?OR The one where a milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 23
Kudos: 194
Collections: Thirsty BatJokes





	Coming to Terms

“What’s the situation?” Bruce came seemingly out of nowhere, wasting no time with greetings or idle chitchat. If he hadn’t spoken none of the police officers would have even noticed he was there in the first place, they were too focused on the small diner across the street. Everyone seemed to be on edge and with good reason too.

Perhaps, least surprised or spooked by his sudden appearance was the commissioner, who was clearly expecting him to show up sooner rather than later, considering who was involved in this little hostage situation.

“Batman.” Jim nodded at Bruce. “I’m guessing you already know who we’re dealing with.” Jim flicked his cigarette away, clearing his throat. “Status report,” he spoke into his radio, before turning his attention back to the vigilante. “That crazy bastard’s got some hostages in there, but it’s hard to tell for certain how many there are with the curtains drawn,” he explained when the radio buzzed as it came to life.

“We’re in position, sir. We have visual on two civilians. No sign of the suspect yet.”

“Understood. Alert me if there are any changes.” Jim gave the diner a long calculating look before he turned to say something but Bruce beat him to it.

“Let me handle this, Jim.” It’s me he wants, Bruce failed to mention. No one else had to get hurt.

“I was hoping you’d say that. I’ll order my men to stand clear.” Jim sighed and reached into his pocket to take out another cigarette. “Of all the nights to do this, he had to pick tonight.” He lit his cigarette and took a long drag. “I was supposed to have dinner with Barbara, and instead I have to deal with this psycho again.”

“I’m sure Barbara will understand.” Bruce reassured him, knowing full well that she was in the loop. More so than Jim knew.

“I mean, how did he even manage to escape Arkham _this_ time?” He shook his head and continued. “You know what, we’ll deal with the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ later, let’s just catch that son of a bitch before someone gets hurt. It’s unusually quiet in there. No demands or anything. Not sure if I like it or not.”

“I have an inkling…Do NOT move in or open fire under any circumstances. I’ll get the hostages out and deal with him,” Bruce warned and started for the diner. The police officers stepped out of the way to let him through without question. They were pretty used to having Batman on the scene, and if anything they were relieved he was there to take on the worst of the criminals in their stead. Especially him.

“You heard the man, stand down.” Jim ordered his men before barking more instructions into his police radio.

Bruce proceeded cautiously, taking in the surroundings. It was a rather quaint little diner in a rather unsavory neighborhood. He had already scanned the diner for heat signatures with his lenses while talking with the commissioner so he had a better idea of what he was dealing with than the police did. Nine people. Most of them were bunched up together near one end of the diner, but he couldn’t tell who was friend and who was foe until he was inside.

“Would you like me to contact Master Dick, sir? Perhaps he could be of assistance.” Alfred patched into the built-in communication systems in his cowl.

“No need. I’ll handle this myself.” Bruce didn’t want to disclose all the selfish reasons why he’d rather confront Joker alone.

He could hear the muffled sound of music coming from inside the diner. The tune was oddly familiar and somehow nostalgic, giving a false sense of calm and security, as if this was just another dreary night for those hankering for a late snack or a cup of coffee at this unearthly hour.

“Merely a suggestion, Master Bruce. I’ll stand by in case you have further need of me, of course.”

“Thanks, Al, but I’m going dark for now. I’ll contact you later.” Bruce cut the line. There was no need for Alfred or the others to hear or know everything going on between him and Joker. That would only raise more uncomfortable questions he was not sure he could answer. Bruce still found it difficult to outright admit or accept that he had more than a soft spot for the crazy clown, no matter how insufferable and deplorable he might be. Suppressing his irrational feelings seemed like the only right choice. Maybe he was just afraid of what could happen if he didn’t.

Bruce sighed as he lingered at the door, pushing his foolish excitement to the back of his mind, and steeling himself to face his enemy. 

The bell rang as the door swung open, signaling Batman’s arrival.

“Batsy! There you are! Fashionably late, as always.”

Joker quickly hopped off his seat and skipped towards the vigilante, overjoyed to see his beloved once more. 

Bruce’s first instinct was to defend himself and repel a possible incoming attack, even though his opponent looked unarmed as he came at him. Bruce quickly grabbed Joker’s hand before the clown could touch him or get too close, and twisted the arm painfully behind Joker’s back, smashing his face against the nearby wall to discourage the other man from trying anything funny.

“Heh, I’m happy to see you too, darling.” Joker chuckled, amused at the warm greeting. He tried turning his head enough so he could get a better look at his dearest. “But you’re right, we can cuddle and make out later.”

Bruce felt something press against the back of his cowl. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy to just grab Joker and call it a night. Apparently, the clown had decided to bring some of his goons along for the ride this time. He should have noticed them sooner, but Joker had quite the singular ability to attract all the attention just by being in the room. Bruce was ashamed to admit he was not immune to it. He had to do better than that.

“Hands off the boss, Batfreak.” He heard the click of a gun, a warning.

He could easily disarm the goon but that would mean turning his back on the Joker - not something he wanted to risk, but it was a chance he had to take. 

As fast as a lightning, Bruce batted away the hand holding him at gunpoint and twisted the goon’s arm until he dropped the weapon down with a pained cry, topping it off by hitting the man square in the face, hard enough to break his nose.

“Ha! You go, Batsy! Show Steve, or whatever his name was, who’s boss!” Joker cheered from behind. Only he would root for Batman instead of his own henchmen. He was biased that way.

The goon held onto his bleeding nose as he regained his balance, and screamed as he threw himself fist first at the Bat. Bruce simply dodged out of the way and used the man’s momentum against him, sending the goon flying towards Joker, who barely managed to step out of the way, laughing delightedly at the action unfolding. Suddenly, the clown’s eyes went wide.

“Watch out, Bats!”

Another goon came at Bruce and aimed a shotgun at him, but another gun went off before he could pull the trigger, splattering pieces of brain against the wall as the goon dropped dead on the diner floor. The screams of the hostages drowned out the old-timey song that was playing on the radio.

Bruce quickly zeroed in on the source of the shot.

Joker was still aiming his gun at the goon’s lifeless body, looking annoyed and offended at the puddle of blood forming on the floor. He shot again, just because. Another wave of high-pitched screams washed across the diner.

“That’s for butting in and spoiling the fun. Couldn’t he see we were having a moment here! Tsk!” Joker sneered at the corpse and casually tucked the gun at the small of his back, concealing it once again.

“You didn’t have to _kill_ him.” Bruce was obviously greatly displeased with the unnecessary violence. No one deserved such a gruesome end, not even these criminals.

“Why? He was gonna kill you!” Joker defended himself, crossing his arms and pouting like a petulant child. “Only _I_ get to do that, Batsy boo.”

Bruce clenched his fists, his blood boiling with rage. He tried to keep his cool as he assessed his surroundings. There was a third henchman pointing his gun threateningly at the terrified hostages who were all tied up and packed into one of the booths near the other end of the diner. Bruce considered several possible courses of action, but all of them put the civilians at risk no matter how minimal it was. In the end, he decided it was best not to provoke the criminals who were already on edge after the recent…incident. Plus, he was awfully curious to learn what devious scheme Joker had cooked up for them this time around. He would play along for now. 

There were easier ways to go about seeing each other. Why couldn’t they just meet like normal people? 

Well, that answered the question. 

“But boss, I thought you were on our side!” The first goon, “Steve”, fretted as he awkwardly got back on his feet, looking no less horrified at the sight of his dead fellow henchman as he sheepishly reached for his own discarded gun.

“I suggest you go back to watching the hostages, _Steve_. Unless you wanna get an extra hole in your head to match with your buddy here.” Joker nudged at the dead man with his foot. “NOW!” 

“Steve” ducked his head and quickly ran along, doing as he was told lest he met the same fate as his unfortunate friend. Joker had an itchy trigger finger as it was, even his own men were afraid of him and his sudden mood swings.

“Bats and I have some _business_ to attend to.” Joker’s expression changed in an instant and the angry scowl gave way to a charming smile as he admired his Bat, back to his cheery self as if he hadn’t just killed a man in cold blood. Unsurprisingly, the clown didn’t care much for his own goons, or anyone for that matter. Besides Batman, of course.

“Come, Batsy, let’s enjoy our time together.” The maniac took Bruce’s hand in his and tugged, expecting the other man to follow. Joker was neither surprised, nor upset when Bruce yanked his hand free a moment later. To be fair, the Bat did hesitate before rejecting him, which was still a win in his book. The clown didn’t back down. Quite the opposite - he moved even closer, leaning his hands on Bruce’s chest, right over the bat symbol, and smirked knowingly at his dark knight.

“Aw, please, we’ve done _far_ worse than hold hands, darling.” Joker’s tone was just as smug as his expression. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the Bat who, to his credit, didn’t betray any emotion. He couldn’t help but lean further into Bruce’s space and inhale his masculine scent mixed with that of the kevlar suit. It simply made the clown shiver. “Mm, I’ve missed you so much, Batsy.”

Across the room, “Steve” looked at his fellow criminal who only shook his head and shrugged in response, just as perplexed by the intimate display, both of them wondering why their boss was being so awfully chummy with Batman of all people, and most importantly, why Batman was allowing it.

As soon as Joker invaded his personal space Bruce was overcome with the powerful urge to either shove the clown away with all his might, or pull him in the rest of the way and kiss him senseless. There was that familiar, all-encompassing scent again – gunpowder and chemicals, something so perverse and unnatural, but so intoxicating and irresistible. He wondered if those disturbingly alluring red lips still tasted as sweet as he remembered. Thank goodness Joker couldn’t tell what Bruce was looking at right now.

God, what was wrong with him. Bruce was here to stop this, to prevent murders, and yet he allowed one to happen already. He was here to save the hostages, yet he was indulging their captor instead. A darker part of him had missed the clown, yes. He had paid Joker a couple of unofficial “visits”, if perching on the asylum roof in the middle of the night and checking in on the clown through his cell window counted as such. But whatever the circumstances might be, he couldn’t allow his own misplaced feelings to cloud his judgement; people were depending on him. Again. Always.

Bruce sighed and placed his hands on Joker’s shoulders to push him away, for both of their sakes. Or at least that was what he told himself to feel better. Now was not the time or place to deal with that personal issue.

“Release the hostages, Joker.” Bruce tried to reason with him. “You know I can’t let you harm them.”

Joker’s smile fell as he was forced out of Batman’s personal space. He crossed his arms again and pretended to consider Bruce’s words carefully.

“Let me think about it…” Joker hummed and tapped his chin in thought. “Hmm, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” The smile was back on his pasty face as if it never left. “At least not yet!” Joker stubbornly reached for Batman’s hand again and guided the vigilante towards the counter so they could both take a seat. This time his batty dear didn’t shy away from the touch or the invitation. 

“We _gotta_ have a milkshake first!” Joker declared as he made himself comfortable and clapped his hands excitedly. “Trust me, Bats, that bland mush they serve in Arkham gets awfully tiresome after eating only that for two weeks in a row. One gets cravings for the simple pleasures in life. Like milkshakes!” Joker snapped his fingers and looked around. “Where’s the waitress? Oh, right! Untie her, boys. It’s rude to keep the customers waiting~” 

Bruce kept a close eye on the goons while Joker was busy talking. For lack of a better name for him, “Not Steve” proceeded to untie one of the hostages – a woman in her fifties who seemed to be the one running this place. She looked rather shaken and with good reason too; whenever Joker was involved that was the only natural reaction. 

After some nudging from the henchman the woman complied and went behind the counter, looking pleadingly at Batman as she nervously wiped her hands on her apron. She hesitated a little before asking, fear lacing her voice.

“W-what can I get you, boys?” 

This whole situation made Bruce question what he was even doing. Or more like, what he wasn’t doing.

“Be a dear,” Joker squinted a little as he read her nameplate, “Margie, and whip us up a strawberry milkshake. For two!”

Bruce gave the lady a subtle reassuring nod, a silent promise that it would be alright, that he wouldn’t let Joker hurt her. That simple gesture was enough to spur her into action as she went for the freezer to grab some ingredients in a hurry. 

“So let me get this straight,” Bruce rubbed his temple, “you escaped Arkham just so you could have a milkshake?” He was obviously skeptical of Joker’s reason for doing all this. But then again, the lunatic had done much worse for less before.

“No, you boob! I escaped just so I could have a milkshake,” Joker pointed at Bruce, “with you!” The clown shrugged then. “Thought it would be kinda romantic. Middle of the night, the two of us in a diner, surrounded by the police. I’m just keeping things real here, darling.” Joker sighed dreamily as he watched the waitress work. 

“You realize this wasn’t necessary, right?” Bruce pointed towards the goons and the hostages. 

“Wasn’t necessary? Do you _really_ believe that, Bats? How else do I get in touch with you? At least this way I know you’ll always show up.” For once, Bruce found it difficult to refute that statement. It wasn’t as if he was actively trying to avoid Joker…maybe a little. Just delaying the inevitable.

“And if you must know,” Joker continued, fixing his bowtie that wasn’t even askew, “I behaved myself in the asylum…well, a little more than usual.” Joker chuckled to himself as he recalled some “incidents” that were totally his fault, but Batman didn’t have to know that. “So I deserve a milkshake and, more importantly, some quality time with you, for being such a model patient and all! So yes, it was very necessary!”

“I wouldn’t say you’ve been exactly a model patient these past few weeks, Joker.” The Bat commented.

“Wait, have you been keeping tabs on me, Batsy?” Joker was intrigued, and honestly, deeply moved by the implication. 

Of course I have, Bruce almost said but instead just grumbled in response and averted his gaze, realizing how it would sound.

“Oh, you have!” Joker clapped his hands and squealed with delight. “And I bet it’s not even strictly legal too! Rummaging through my files, watching the camera feeds, how naughty! You’re breaking the law for little ol’ me~! I’m touched, Batsy! Oh, I really hope you enjoyed all the juicy bits.” Joker smirked and winked at his Bat.

To his shame, Bruce knew exactly which “juicy bits” Joker was talking about. The clown was too smug for his own good. So much that it gave Bruce the urge to punch him and wipe that lecherous grin off his face. Maybe that would make him feel better, it usually did.

“But in my defense, I was going stir-crazy in that joint. The padded walls were getting too soft for my tastes. And worst of all, there is no Batman there to play with.” Joker reached for Bruce’s hand then. “You never even visit, Batsy.” He sounded rather hurt by that fact, shushing Bruce before he could interrupt him. “And no, spying on me while I sleep doesn’t count. And they say _I’m_ a creep!”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose through the cowl as he leaned on the counter, not bothering to grace that statement with a response. He carefully freed his hand from Joker’s grasp when the waitress placed the ready milkshake between them.

“Oh, thank you, dearie.” Joker’s smile returned tenfold when he saw the sweet drink before him and slid the glass closer. “Now would you mind giving us some space,” he put his hand close to his mouth as if to tell the woman a little secret, gesturing towards Bruce, “Batsy here’s kinda shy around strangers.” Then the clown signaled to his goons. “You know the drill, boys!”

Bruce watched as “Not Steve” led the woman back to where the rest of the hostages were kept, and tied her up again. That was a relief. The fact that Joker didn’t…dispose of her as soon as she had fulfilled her purpose was a miracle in itself. Not that Bruce would let the clown hurt any of the hostages. Maybe all Joker wanted was really just to get a milkshake. Knowing him, Bruce wouldn’t put it past the clown to pull an elaborate stunt for something as simple as that. 

An obnoxiously loud slurp brought him back to the present. Joker was _really_ enjoying his milkshake, judging by the expression of pure bliss written on his face, and the obscene moan he gave. Bruce tried very hard not to conjure up any recent memories that involved Joker and him in a very compromising position. Sadly, his attempts to keep those thoughts at bay failed miserably.

“Mmm! That’s the stuff!” Joker scooped some of the whipped cream with his index finger and sucked it in his mouth, eagerly licking the sugary substance off. “It’s to die for, I swear! Try it, Batsy!” The madman angled one of the straws towards Bruce, inviting him to try the milkshake as he slurped loudly again and closed his eyes, savoring the taste.

Bruce remained still as he watched Joker enjoy his drink, making no move to accept the clown’s offer. If the scene wasn’t so overtly suggestive, he would actually consider Joker’s enthusiasm rather endearing. Bruce briefly entertained the thought of sharing a milkshake with the clown without a death threat looming over the city. Was Joker even capable of something as mundane as that?

Maybe it was a mistake, but Bruce decided to give him a chance.

“If I do this-” Bruce began when Joker took the strawberry off the top, licked the cream off it, and sucked on the juicy fruit. Now he was just teasing, damn him. Bruce clenched his jaw before continuing, eyes glued to Joker’s lips, “If I do this, do you agree to release the hostages and come quietly afterwards?”

“Heh, you know better than anyone that I _never_ come quietly.” The double entendre was definitely not lost on Bruce. The clown gave him a flirty wink, scooped more cream with the strawberry and licked the fruit again. 

“Uh, boss?” One of the goons tried to draw Joker’s attention. “What about the-” 

“Not now, Steve!” Joker snapped. The look he gave his goon was a death threat in itself. “Can’t you see I’m a little busy right now?!” He muttered something under his breath before he turned back to Bruce, forgetting all about the rude interruption.

“Where were we? Ah, yes!” Joker leaned closer and slowly dragged the pointed end of the strawberry across Batman’s lower lip. The juicy red fruit left a wet trail in its wake which he followed with hungry eyes. “You were about to taste my milkshake, weren’t you, Bats?”

Bruce hesitated before he pushed Joker’s hand away.

“Not so fast. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll do as you say, just…take a bite.” The clown pressed the strawberry against Batman’s lips again, buzzing with anticipation. “I insist, Batsy. You’ll love how it tastes…I promise.” 

In a manner of speaking, he was just like the devil, whispering sweet promises into Bruce’s ear, tempting him with the forbidden fruit until it was too late and the deed was done. The look in Joker’s eyes was downright ravenous when the Bat finally gave in, parted his lips and sank his teeth into the juicy strawberry that was offered to him, biting half of it off. The clown wanted to chase after it just so he could taste it on his Bat. 

“Yes…Delicious, isn’t it?” Joker hummed appreciatively, and ate the rest of the fruit while his eyes lingered on Batman’s lips, betraying his desires.

Bruce tried to guide his thoughts in a safer direction than where they were already heading. He didn’t have the luxury to indulge in those fantasies right now - he was on the job and he couldn’t allow his emotions to jeopardize his integrity any further. He shouldn’t…enjoy this.

“How did you escape Arkham this time?” Bruce wasn’t expecting a serious answer but it didn’t hurt to try. Anything to keep his mind from straying into more dangerous territory.

“Pft, as if I’m telling you that! A magician never reveals his secrets.” Joker scooped a dollop of whipped cream and ate it hungrily. “Mm, you gotta try this too!” He scooped more cream and brought it to Bruce’s lips but the Bat made no move to taste it. “Come ooon. You can always pretend you’re doing it for the hostages over there that, as you can see, are very much still alive. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I’d rather you hadn’t taken them hostage in the first place.” 

“Well, beggars can’t be choosers. It’s how the game is played.” Joker just ate the cream himself and stirred the milkshake with his straw. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” Bruce muttered almost to himself as he stared at the counter, while the radio kept on playing in the background, filling the silence between them. The pale man pouted.

“It’s not like you’re giving me any other choice, Bats.” 

It was getting a little too depressing for Joker’s tastes so he just gave Bruce the side-eye and slid the glass closer to him as an offering, giving an easy and sincere smile.

“Maybe a sip will turn that bat frown upside down.” The clown leaned closer, slurped on the milkshake again and grinned, demonstrating its effects. “You did say you were gonna do it, remember? Can’t expect me to honor my end of the deal if you don’t honor yours. It’s real easy, let me show you. Just wrap your lips around it and suck-“

“Stop that.” Bruce pulled the straw out of Joker’s mouth and dragged the glass further away and out of the clown’s reach. He couldn’t have a serious conversation with the other man, apparently, without Joker changing the subject or shamelessly and relentlessly teasing him.

“Oh, Batsy, you’re so cute when you’re angry.” Joker leaned on the counter and gazed at his bat like a love-struck fool. His hand slid over Batman’s knee and began a slow trek up his muscular thigh. “Makes me wanna-“

“Boss?“ One of the goons decided to interrupt at the most (in)opportune moment. Joker rolled his eyes hard.

“WHAT?!” He barked out and shot both of his men with a death glare, enough to make them cower again. Suffice it to say, Joker already regretted bringing his henchman along for this “job”. Obviously, the only thing they were good for was to cockblock him. Idiots, the lot of them. 

“Not Steve” was the braver of the two as he wordlessly pointed at the clock on the wall. Fifteen minutes to midnight.

Ah, indeed. Time to close up shop.

Joker got up from his seat and leaned awkwardly over the counter to reach the glass that Batman purposefully kept away from him, all so he could get a few more sips of the milkshake, not willing to let the drink go to waste. It was a very good milkshake after all, even if his Batsy was too bullheaded to try it himself.

“Well, I guess it’s time to go home now. I’m sure you’ll be a perfect gentleman and give me a lift, won’t you, sweetie?” He slid his hand over Bruce’s cheek and gave it a gentle pat before his hand was promptly batted away. Joker didn’t take it to heart, though. It was just like his Batsy to do that. Suddenly his expression changed. “Oh! That’s right, I almost forgot…Gimme a second, and I’m all yours, baby.”

Without any dramatic speech or warning, Joker pulled out his gun and shot poor oblivious “Steve” square in the face before Batman could react. Screams erupted from the terrified hostages who witnessed the violent death.

“NO!” Bruce was off his stool in an instant. He managed to grab Joker’s hand just when a second shot rang out, hitting poor confused “Not Steve” in the chest, and causing a new wave of cries from the hostages cowering in their seats. 

Joker yelped when the gun was swiftly forced out of his hand and tossed to the ground. His head hit the hard counter with a loud and painful thud a second later, which left the clown giggling, thoroughly enjoying the rough treatment he was receiving. Batman’s strong hand kept him firmly in place, pressing his face hard against the counter. 

“Mm, there’s that magic touch!” Joker let the Bat restrain him without putting up much of a fight, squirming for an entirely different reason that had nothing to do with him protesting his arrest.

“Stay put!” Bruce commanded as he fastened the handcuffs a little too tight around Joker’s wrists, hoping it hurt. He tried to ignore the delighted sounds that the lunatic was making as he was being manhandled. He knew what effect violence had on the clown well enough to guess why Joker was squirming so much underneath him. 

Bruce left the maniac where he was, confident enough that he wouldn’t move or do anything else foolish and heinous. He went to check on the hostages, all the while wondering why Joker would kill his own men like that. He was erratic and unpredictable and clearly didn’t value even his own henchman that much to care whether they lived or died, but this act was just uncalled for. Bruce wanted to avoid bloodshed, but he should have known Joker didn’t share the same sentiment.

He wasted no time in cutting through the ropes to free the hostages. “It’s going to be alright, the police are waiting outside. Go.”

“Oh, thank you, Batman! Thank you!” A woman with mascara running down her cheeks looked at Bruce as if she had seen an angel, before she ran for the door. The rest followed one after another, expressing their gratitude and relief as they made their way outside. “This is ridiculous! That’s the third time I’ve been held hostage this year. That’s what I get for living in this lousy neighborhood,” a man complained as he made his escape, squeamishly jumping over the dead bodies.

As soon as the last hostage was freed, Bruce went to grab Joker who had maneuvered into an awkward position over the counter to reach his glass and drink up the last of his strawberry milkshake while Bruce was busy freeing the civilians. He slurped loudly through his straw even after there was nothing left in the glass. The madman had to know how annoying it sounded but he did it anyways. Because of course he did.

“Are you quite finished?” Bruce crossed his arms, unimpressed.

Sluuuurp. Sigh.

“Yep!” Joker licked his lips and straightened up, smirking wickedly at his Bat. “It’s not too late to have a taste, you know.” He moved closer and went for Bruce’s mouth but was stopped well before their lips could connected.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bruce pressed his palm against Joker’s chest, stopping him in his tracks.

“Isn’t it obvious?” The clown puckered his red lips and made kissy sounds.

Bruce shook his head and turned the other man around with more force than was necessary. No, scratch that. Less than he really deserved. “Just move.” He took hold of the handcuffs and steered the clown out the door. 

“Oh, you’ll come around.” Joker smiled knowingly as he stepped out of the diner. His lips stretched into a toothy grin at the reception he got from the police who held him at gunpoint as soon as he walked out the door with Batman in tow. The flashing lights, the sirens, the stench of fear in the polluted Gotham air, there was nothing quite like it in the world. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week,” the clown took a bow and basked in the attention, feeling invincible. He knew the Bat wouldn’t let anyone else hurt him - he was protective like that. That very thought warmed his cold black heart to the core.

There was an ambulance on site with a few paramedics already hard at work checking up the civilians that had been held hostage while a couple of policemen asked them questions. Another officer busied himself with cordoning off the diner as soon as the area was clear, to prevent anyone else from getting near the crime scene.

Joker’s grin turned devilish as they passed by the commissioner.

“Hey, Jimbo! Long time no see. How’s dear Barbara doing?”

“Why, you sick son of a-!” Bruce yanked Joker back and moved between the two men before Jim could hit his prisoner. Which, of course, he totally deserved. Several times over. Sometimes he wondered who he was actually protecting, the monster from the people, or the other way around.

“Easy, Jim. Don’t let him get to you.” Bruce tried to calm the older man down, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Touchy.” Joker snickered and stuck out his tongue from behind Batman, taunting the commissioner.

“And you keep your mouth shut.” Bruce warned the clown before turning back to Jim. “The civilians are safe, but the three other perps are dead. Joker’s own doing. You’ll see for yourself.”

“Well, that would explain the gunshots we heard.” Jim sighed. “It’s not ideal, but at least no hostages were hurt. Thanks for the help, Batman.” The clown cleared his throat pointedly.

“I helped too!” Joker chimed in cheerfully from over Bruce’s shoulder.

“You caused this, you fool.” Bruce chided.

“But I fixed it, didn’t I?” The madman smiled, all too smug about his deed, convinced he had done everyone a favor by murdering his own men. “All’s well that ends well. Justice has been served!”

Bruce sighed and dragged the palm of his hand over his face, done with this argument. He completely missed the weird look that the commissioner gave both of them during their exchange. 

“I’ll take him back to Arkham.”

“Thanks again.” The commissioner nodded in acknowledgement and cast a mean look at the clown before he rejoined his fellow policemen.

“What time is it, anyways?” Joker asked out of nowhere.

“Almost midnight.” Bruce narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

“Oh, just curious.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “It’s a shame, really.” Joker sighed wistfully as they walked towards the batmobile that Bruce had parked in a nearby alley, out from sight.

“What is?” Bruce questioned, going through tonight’s events in his head again, wondering if he had missed something.

“That was a nice diner.”

“Wh-“

There was not enough time to make sense of Joker’s words. As if on cue, a sudden, thunderous blast shook the ground, sending glass and debris flying in each and every direction, knocking back the officers who were caught near the epicenter. The police were not the only ones taken by surprise.

Bruce instinctively braced himself as soon as he heard the deafening sound. His ears were ringing when he turned around to identify the source, only to have his suspicions confirmed. The diner, or what was left of it, was engulfed in fire, completely obliterated by the powerful blast. Gradually his hearing returned to normal, and instead of ringing his ears were filled with a cacophony of car alarms blaring all around him. People scurried about, some in panic, some to help those caught in the blast. It was chaos.

A moment later Bruce picked up the distant sound of a painfully familiar laughter and realized he was no longer holding onto Joker’s cuffs. The clown must have slipped out of his grasp during or after the blast while Bruce was still disoriented and distracted. He quickly turned around to locate his prisoner only to see a flash of green and a flutter of coattails that disappeared into a nearby alley.

Bruce grit his teeth and gave chase. He couldn’t let the clown get away. He had to trust the police and the paramedics would handle the situation until the fire brigade arrived on the scene. He only hoped there were no casualties, and if they were, he would make sure Joker paid for it.

How could he have missed the bomb? Nothing was ever clean-cut when the madman was involved, there was always another layer hidden underneath, a plan inside a bigger plan, an intent behind everything, no matter how random. He should never expect things to be as they seemed.

Just as he rounded the corner he caught a glimpse of purple in the distance. If he picked up the pace he would catch up with the clown in no time. After all, how far or fast could Joker run while handcuffed?

“Ha ha ha, catch me if you can, Bats!” 

Far and fast enough, it seemed. Because he kept slipping out of view right when Bruce was about to throw his batarangs to slow the slippery bastard down, missing his quarry by sheer luck on Joker’s part. All he could hear in his head was the maniac’s gleeful cackle as it echoed through the alleys. The stuff of nightmares if you were a civilian out in the city at this ungodly hour.

Somehow, the more unnerving part came when the laughter died down and gave way to complete silence. Bruce cautiously followed Joker’s trail down another alley when something on the ground caught his eye. 

Handcuffs. Bruce wondered yet again how Joker managed to get out of them so fast, especially while being chased. The clown’s ability to get out of a bind was as frustrating as it was impressive; nothing could hold the man for too long, no handcuffs or prison. If only he’d put that ingenuity to a better use rather than to escape justice.

It was a mistake to bend down and pick the handcuffs off the ground. Because as soon as Bruce did so, the maniac came out of nowhere and slung a chain around his neck, cutting off his air almost instantly.

“Seems like I caught myself a bat.” Joker grinned wildly and wrapped the chain more securely around his hands, pulling hard enough to leave the Bat gasping for breath and struggling to reduce the pressure threatening to crush his trachea. It was incredible how strong the lanky man was despite his frail appearance. And Joker was definitely not holding back. Nor was he above playing dirty, but neither was Batman.

Just as Bruce was about to twist in the chokehold and free himself, Joker somehow read his mind and hopped up on Batman’s back, wrapping his legs around his waist to prevent him from turning around and escaping. The clown pulled and twisted the chain viciously, laughing like crazy while Bruce struggled to get him off now that turning around was not an option.

“Am I leaving you breathless, Batsy?” Joker teased and pulled the chain, harsh and merciless, delighting in the choked sounds of his Bat as he moved about and struggled. 

His triumph was rather short-lived, however, because Bruce decided it was high time to return the favor. He backed up to the nearest wall and crushed his opponent against it with enough force to knock the wind out of him and make him loosen his grip, but only by a fraction. That was all the leeway Bruce needed to twist to the side, pry Joker’s legs off his waist, and elbow the clown in the stomach once, twice, three times, until he managed to slip completely out of his hold and free himself. 

Joker gasped for breath and finally dropped the chain, unable to keep up his chokehold under the circumstances. The clown could definitely take a beating but even he knew it was time for a change of tactics. He narrowly avoided another hit by ducking out of the way of an incoming punch that connected with the wall instead of his face. Boy, was Batman angry. The clown chuckled as he put some distance between them now that he didn’t have the edge over his Bat anymore. 

Well, he had _an_ edge.

Suddenly, a knife appeared in Joker’s hand seemingly out of thin air. He flicked the blade in his hand with years of practiced ease as a malicious grin spread across his face.

“Shall we dance, Bats?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Bruce gritted his teeth and assumed a defensive stance, ready to meet whatever Joker would throw at him. Clearly the clown still had a few tricks up his sleeves. Bruce wouldn’t expect anything less from him.  
They had done this countless times before, intimately familiar with every step of the dance and all its wonderful variations.

Swish, swish, stab. 

It wasn’t too difficult for Bruce to evade the lightning-fast attacks, stepping to the side and leaning out of the way just before they could land. He managed to catch Joker’s hand mid-swing but that did not deter the clown in the slightest. 

Instead of a hindrance, Joker looked at it as an excellent opportunity to close the distance between them once again. He spun into Batman’s arms and pressed firmly against his dance partner, back to chest, humming with satisfaction.

Bruce gave the tiniest smile in return as he twisted Joker’s hand until the knife finally dropped on the ground with an audible clank.

“Don’t you know it’s dangerous to play with knives, Joker?” Bruce all but burrowed his nose in Joker’s neck and inhaled his overpowering scent. He couldn’t stop himself, he was like possessed. 

The clown shivered when he felt Batman’s hot breath ghosting over his bare skin, and arched his back when a strong hand slid across his stomach and wrapped around his middle, pulling him close.

“It’s not fun if it’s not dangerous, Bats.” Joker smirked as another knife, a switchblade this time, sank into Batman’s arm with a sickening sound.

Bruce hissed in pain, forced to let go of Joker’s hand when the lunatic viciously twisted the blade in the wound. How many knives did he even have on his person? And most importantly, where did he keep all of them? Maybe he should be grateful for the sobering wakeup call. Things would have escalated in a whole other direction if it weren’t for Joker’s painful intervention. 

“Just a new scar to remind you of me, darling. The old ones must be all healed up by now.” Joker giggled and freed himself as Batman pulled the switchblade out of his arm and tossed it to the side. His Bat was truly the most exquisite canvas he could work on. If only he could see underneath that thick armor, see his masterful strokes across that powerhouse of a body in all of their glory. Batman was truly his masterpiece and he wasn’t even done painting yet.

“How kind of you,” Bruce sounded far from grateful. No matter how much he might deny it, deep down Bruce missed this twisted but exhilarating dance of theirs, and all the pain and satisfaction it brought along with it. 

“I am but a humble jester, eager to serve and entertaining my dear Bat King.” Joker was on him in a flash, throwing punch after punch that Bruce kept blocking with relative ease, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through his arm every time he strained his muscles.

“You could work on your act then.” Bruce thwarted Joker’s next attack and delivered a punch of his own that sent the clown stumbling backwards.

“Everyone’s a critic.” Joker worked his jaw and grinned again. “So, is that the best you’ve got, Bats? Come on, hit me again! Harder this time.” He beckoned at the vigilante, daring him to do his worst. And Batman did just that. The force of the next punch knocked Joker down to the ground as he kept cackling like a maniac all the while. He loved how Batman made him taste his own blood. “Feels good, doesn’t it? I can tell you’ve missed using me as your personal punching bag. Other criminals just don’t cut it, do they?” The clown spat some of the blood out and tried to get back on his feet.

“You deserved it.” Bruce countered, not making any other excuse for the rough treatment, even though Joker did hit the nail on the head with this one. A part of him felt guilty for enjoying it so much, but another part knew Joker loved every single bit of it too. Maybe if he took out all of his frustrations on Joker this way, it would drive away all other bad things he wanted to do to him. Against his better judgement, Bruce grabbed the clown by the collar and landed another savage blow to his face that would have knocked out anyone else. Instead, it left Joker wheezing on the concrete. 

“Had enough?”

“Oh, I can never get enough of your kisses,” Joker sing-songed, smiling like a love-sick fool at his Bat, perfectly content to just lay in a heap on the ground. 

Bruce selfishly took his time to admire the sight - his enemy all beaten up, bloody and bruised, messed up in more ways than one. Of course, even in the dimly lit alley, Bruce didn’t miss the obvious bulge in Joker’s pants. It was no secret that the clown got his kicks from their violent confrontations, but Bruce couldn’t deny they affected him as well.

This couldn’t be healthy, for either of them. Joker had a very unique way of getting under his skin and bringing out an ugly, repressed part of him that others rarely got to see. Despite what might have transpired during their previous encounter, he was still reluctant to act on his baser urges because that would only complicate things further. Bruce wasn’t sure he was ready for that, and it certainly didn’t sound like a good idea. Perhaps if he pretended nothing had happened it would make things easier, much simpler. Perhaps. If he could ignore his own feelings.

“Get up. Time to go.” Bruce helped the other man up on his feet and reached for the handcuffs. He was not expecting Joker would just roll over and come quietly with him, but what happened next took even him by surprise.

A loud smack resounded in the alley when Joker slapped Batman hard across the face.

“Don’t even think about it,” the madman chastised. “You don’t get to pretend there’s nothing between us! Not anymore!”

Joker smashed their lips together and poured all of his frustration into the kiss, shutting up his Bat before he could come up with yet another righteous excuse for ignoring him. Batman was infuriatingly stubborn, but so was Joker when he had to prove a point.

It was exactly what Bruce was afraid would happen again sooner or later. His brain kept telling him to resist it, push Joker away and stop this madness. But his heart sang a different tune; it rejoiced in the passionate display of affection as the clown kissed away the last shreds of his self-control. The insistent drag of his wicked tongue, the hungry bites demanding entrance, the wiry arms clutching at him desperately as if he would slip away and disappear any moment now - it was more than Bruce could take before he finally gave in.

All pretense went out the window in an instant, and with it – his restraint.

The clown let out a cry of indignation when Batman suddenly tore himself off his lips. But his protest was soon cut short by a surprised “Oof!” when the Bat slammed him against the nearest wall, hard enough to knock the wind out of him which Bruce eagerly replaced with his own hot breath. Their lips smashed together once again and their tongues locked in a heated battle for dominance that Joker was more than willing to lose. The steamy kiss left the maniac mewling as he melted like butter against Bruce, every little taste of his darling permeating his body and overloading his senses.

“Oh, Batsy, you have a lot of making up to do.” Joker licked his way inside the Bat’s mouth again, letting Batman taste the blood he helped spill earlier during their fight. “Do me, baby. Show me how much you still hate me.” And to emphasize how dire his need was, the clown wrapped his leg around Batman’s waist, bringing their lower bodies closer together, and ground his hips against his lover, letting out a loud moan that Batman quickly muffled with the palm of his hand.

“Keep quiet. Or this will be over sooner than you’d like.” Bruce warned but didn’t remove his hand until Joker nodded in understanding.

“Afraid someone might catch us doing the dirty, Bats?” Joker sniggered and continued to buck his hips to get as much friction as possible for his already rock-hard cock, each grind of his hips sending a jolt of pleasure throughout his body. The real deal was infinitely better than using his hand and imagination. Still, he had so many wonderfully nasty fantasies he wanted to make a reality. His batty darling could use some help pulling that stick out of his delightfully firm ass. Joker would take great pleasure in replacing it with something else long and hard. Now that would be just delightful! In all honesty, he was game for any kind of fun with his Batman, anything for them to be deeply connected.

Instead of answering Joker’s question, Bruce sucked a spot on his pale neck, making the clown gasp and wriggle against him helplessly. He knew how to exploit his sensitive spots by now, and he was sure he could find so many more, in due time.

“Not fair, darling,” Joker complained but didn’t really mean it. A moan left his open mouth when the Bat sank his teeth into his neck and lapped at the freshly bruised flesh to soothe it. “More…”

Bruce shut him up again with a kiss and set about unzipping Joker’s pants, which wasn’t such an easy task considering the clown couldn’t slow down his rutting even for a second to help him along and speed things up.

Eventually he managed to unzip and tug the pants down Joker’s bony hips until he could get a good hold of the skinny buttocks and knead it greedily with both hands, earning himself another lascivious moan from the needy clown. Bruce indulged himself a moment longer before deciding he couldn’t wait any longer - he wanted to feel him from the inside too, just like before. It was a sensation he could easily get addicted to, he was well on his way already. 

Joker whined when he felt the hands retreat, and along with them Batman’s mouth too. He tried chasing his lips to prolong their kiss but the Bat seemed to have other ideas. The clown’s expression changed from annoyed to excited when he realized what his lover had in mind.

“If you bite my fingers, I’m going in dry.” Bruce warned as he took off one of his gloves.

“Is that a promise? What if-“ 

Bruce cut Joker off by shoving two fingers inside his mouth without bothering to ask nicely first, but even that couldn’t silence the clown for too long. “Suck,” the Bat commanded. 

The clown was even more vocal now as he sucked and licked at the digits as if he was enjoying a nice treat. The infernal things he did with his tongue only fanned the flames burning in Bruce’s gut, a small taste of what was to come. It had been a while. Too long. Joker felt so perfect last time, he couldn’t wait to be inside him again. Bruce was willingly walking into dangerous territory again, but it felt much easier to lose control now that the clown had managed to slip through the cracks of his defenses.

Joker took his time to coat Bruce’s fingers with saliva, grazing them teasingly with his teeth as he hollowed his cheeks and sucked on them as if he was sucking on something much longer and thicker. Bruce shivered and his cock twitched with interest, confined in his all-too-tight pants. Joker was truly incorrigible. If only they weren’t out in the open he would take his time with the clown but he couldn’t risk them being caught now. The fact that he was allowing, no, encouraging this was reprehensible in itself but he couldn’t stop either. He really didn’t want to.

“Enough,” Bruce snapped and pulled his fingers out of the maniac’s sinful mouth. Joker licked his bloody, lipstick-smeared lips and smirked brazenly at his batty lover. He knew exactly what he was doing, the smug bastard.

Bruce would wipe that self-satisfied smirk off his face soon enough. He hoisted Joker’s other thigh up and the clown got the not-so-subtle hint and wrapped his legs around Batman’s waist, opening himself up more to welcome his darling inside. Thankfully, the wall provided the much needed support to allow Bruce more freedom with his hands. And he really did need his hands for the next parts. 

Wet fingers slid between the clown’s cheeks and circled his hot entrance, making Joker squirm with anticipation and frustration that his Bat was taking too long. He needed him NOW.

“Come on, Batsy baby, don’t tease…just-” Joker gasped when he felt one of the fingers finally breach him and slip inside. It was hardly enough. He didn’t know what to do with himself when his Bat was so…gentle. Rough, he could do, but not whatever this was. Why was Batman being so nice all of a sudden? “I’m not made of glass, darling, just use both. Hell, use three,” he whined and wiggled around impatiently. 

But Bruce didn’t take the bait, instead he carefully worked Joker open until his finger moved with relative ease before adding a second one. It was true that Joker wasn’t anything like Bruce Wayne’s usual conquests, delicate and fragile. He might have been excessively rough the first time they did this but he still wanted to show the clown it didn’t always have to be painful to feel good. Maybe Bruce was getting too sappy. 

The clown welcomed the extra finger and although the stretch was so good it still wasn’t enough; he needed so much more. He was growing even more desperate and frustrated at the agonizingly slow pace, so he decided to show the Bat exactly what he thought about it all.

Bruce hissed when Joker bit his lip hard enough to draw blood but still kissed the madman, hard and sloppy as their blood mixed together. Clearly the clown was not appreciating the “special” treatment he was receiving, but his opinion changed pretty quickly. His breath hitched when the fingers started rubbing against his prostate with a purpose. Joker shuddered and moaned into Batman’s mouth, renewing his efforts to fuck himself on the fingers, anything to feel that amazing touch again. His lover knew exactly where to press to leave him begging for more.

“More!” Joker whined as he clumsily rocked his hips. He groaned with pleasure when Batman’s mouth found its way back to his neck for another taste, to lick, suck, and bite on sensitive flesh again.

Bruce pumped his fingers in and out with more ease now, making sure to rub against Joker’s prostate and reward him for being so patient. Well, more patient than usual, considering the pace and intensity of everything Joker did, of his whole existence.

“P-please-“ Joker begged when it got too much. Batman’s expert fingers were driving him crazy with lust, not enough to finish him off but enough to make him squirm with burning need for more. It was torture. The fact that he was reduced to begging, unprompted, was victory enough for Bruce. “Fuck me already, Batsy…you’re killing me here,” Joker whimpered and clutched to Batman’s cape.

Bruce took pity on the clown, deeming him as prepared as he could be under the circumstances. He slipped his fingers out of the tight heat only for Joker to whine again now that he was feeling empty again. Bruce considered his options before selfishly deciding he wanted to be able to look at Joker’s face as he fucked him. It was unfortunate that he didn’t pack any lube (he didn’t count on a repeat performance), so they had to do it the hard way. He was sure Joker wouldn’t mind in the slightest. 

Bruce pushed his own pants low enough to free his cock out of its confines, tugging at Joker’s pants too until he had better access to his entrance. 

Joker giggled at Batman’s struggle, wiggling around until his ass was completely out and at his disposal. He bit his lip with anticipation as he watched the Bat spit in his hand and coat his dick with a mix of their saliva and blood. Oh, how very dirty! He felt the tip of Batman’s cock brush against his stretched hole, and shivered, more than ready to take him already. So close.

“Yesss, get inside me, baby!”

Bruce kept his eyes on the clown as he did just that. The tip slipped past the rim with some effort despite the careful preparation earlier. The lack of lube at hand was making things more difficult, but not impossible; Joker didn’t seem to mind much, after all it wasn’t the first time they had done it this way. Pale bony fingers gripped at his cape; green eyes fluttered shut when Bruce pushed further inside. It was too hot and dry, but that didn’t stop either of them. 

Joker groaned as he was slowly stretched beyond belief, and tried to relax his body so it could take the intrusion with more ease. He felt something press against his forehead so he opened his eyes again to find the Bat leaning on him, struggling just as much as him. A smile formed on his lips as he tilted his head and sealed their lips in a deep kiss which Batman returned in kind without hesitation. It was the perfect distraction, relaxing him enough to allow the length to slip deeper and deeper. He moaned into the kiss when his lover bottomed out inside him, so incredibly thick and hot. It hurt just right. Now if only Batman would start moving…

Bruce, on the other hand took his time, for his and for Joker’s sake. The silky hot tightness that squeezed around him was so overwhelming he had to remain still and calm down if he wanted their joining to last more than a few short seconds. It was embarrassing what the thought of being locked in this position with Joker did to his body and mind. The clown felt so good, so much that all he wanted to do was to just thrust his hips and fuck him senseless there and then. But for some reason, now of all times, he didn’t want to hurt the other man too much. Though, why Bruce was suddenly being so considerate and careful with Joker was a whole different matter that was to be examined later, perhaps in the privacy of his cave where he could be alone with his thoughts.

The clown wasn’t nearly as patient as the Bat was, so he tried moving his hips to urge his lover along, breaking their kiss and gasping for breath. “Move, Bats! How much more do you want me to beg for it?” 

The sound of that was quite appealing to Bruce, but he decided Joker had had enough for now, so he finally obliged and did exactly what the other man wanted. He started off with slow, shallow thrusts, gradually increasing the pace and force of his movements. It was getting easier to ignore the burning sensation of their joining the more his lover relaxed around him, allowing him to get deeper without any resistance. Pain slowly gave way to pleasure and with it Joker’s vocal appreciation grew too.

“Ah-yes! Just like that! Faster, Ba-mph,“ Bruce swiftly covered Joker’s mouth to muffle his loud moans and cries.

“I told you to keep quiet, you fool!” Bruce warned again and snapped his hips more roughly as punishment, dispensing with all the efforts to be gentle now that the pleasure greatly outweighed the uncomfortable burn. “Or do you want me to stop?” He smirked when the madman quickly shook his head and mumbled something into Bruce’s palm. Joker’s eyes fluttered closed as another muffled moan escaped his mouth when the Bat hit just the right spot with his next thrust. “That’s what I thought.” The hand keeping Joker’s mouth shut couldn’t muffle all of the wanton sounds that the clown made, but it was enough to keep his incessant chattering at bay. Even if Bruce secretly enjoyed his dirty talk, the sight of Joker being denied even that was more arousing than he’d thought it would be.

Joker scrambled to hold onto any part of Batman he could get his hands on. He was living! His Batsy’s commanding tone and forceful manner were sending him into a frenzy, just as much as the magic he did with his cock, rubbing so deliciously against his prostate with every thrust of his hips. Joker could only try to hold on and take the punishment. The brick was digging painfully into his back but he didn’t care because something else more pleasurable was digging so nicely inside him, turning him into a moaning, drooling mess. All he cared about was meeting Batman’s thrusts just so he could feel that burst of pleasure again and again, building up in intensity for the big finale. He needed just a little bit more…

Beyond desperate, Joker reached up to pry Batman’s hand off his mouth and guide it lower.

“Do it…” Joker sobbed breathlessly before Bruce closer his hand around the thin, pale neck and squeezed, hard enough to offer him the stars above, and make him see the light at last.

Joker’s whole body shook when he came dirty between them. A pathetic, choked sound left his open mouth as he rode out his orgasm, forgetting what air even felt like, what anything besides his Bat felt like. Nothing else really mattered. Even if he died right here, right now like this, with Batman’s cock buried deep inside him and the hand around his neck choking the life out of him – the ultimate bliss. That was the only glimpse of heaven he would ever get to see.

The clown’s helpless body writhed against the Bat in the throes of their passion, clenching so perfectly around his length and spurring Batman to take what he needed out of him no matter how rough the treatment could be – Joker didn’t have any power left in him to resist it even if he wanted to. 

Bruce rocked his hips frantically, driving his cock fast and hard into the clamping heat once, twice, three times until his body finally succumbed to the pleasure as well. He grit his teeth to suppress his own moan as he buried as deep as he could get inside Joker, and filled him up with his hot release, tightening his deathly grip on Joker’s neck almost to the point of crushing his trachea until all strength left his body as well and he loosened his firm hold.

As soon as the hand went away Joker gasped for air like a drowning man kept underwater for too long, struggling to get his lungs to work again. The Bat panted against his neck; hot, moist breath caressed the bruised, sweaty skin that was close enough to kiss and taste. The clown smelled so good, even more intoxicating than before, especially now that Bruce was done ravishing him thoroughly. He inhaled the heady scent, committing it to memory. 

Joker chuckled against him, feeling so utterly sated and happy, just like after their last romp all those weeks ago. Only his Bat could give him what he really wanted. And no, it wasn’t just the sex. No one else could calm him down or provide him such clarity, even if for a little while before his thoughts would become a jumbled mess again. Batman was the answer even if he didn’t know what the question was anymore.

Bruce never would have thought Joker could be so gentle. Not until he felt a bony hand slide across his cheek and caress him with profound tenderness. Or until Joker pressed their lips together, soft and quiet and endearing. Not until he showered Bruce’s face with sloppy, wet kisses that felt sweeter than heaven.

Why did Joker make it so difficult for Bruce to hate him? One minute he was a homicidal maniac, killing people left and right without remorse, and the next he was…like this. His kisses were like double-edged knives - they felt so good that by the time you realized they were killing you it would be too late. Accepting them was like sentencing yourself to death, putting the noose around your neck and kicking the chair yourself. 

Why was it so hard to put an end to this? Did he really want it to end? The line between right and wrong was getting blurrier with each enticing kiss Joker pressed on him, filling his mind with doubt, but also with an unrealistic hope, and possibilities that he didn’t dare entertain.

Bruce closed his eyes and let out a heavy, defeated sigh. Might as well rip off the bandaid…

“We can’t keep doing this.” The sudden declaration stopped Joker dead in his tracks before he could press another affectionate kiss on his lips. He drew back slightly and looked questioningly at the Bat.

“What? Why?”

“You’re a criminal.”

“And?!”

“I’m Batman.”

“No shit. Wanna tell me anything else that’s obvious?” Joker scoffed, unimpressed, a little bit insulted, and a whole lot exasperated.

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“All _I_ know is that you want this as much as I do, Batsy.”

“That’s…the problem.” Bruce averted his gaze, ashamed by the admission.

“Well, I don’t see any problem here. You certainly weren’t complaining while you were fucking me a minute ago. Or the time before that.”

Bruce pulled out and managed to extricate himself from Joker’s hold to put more (un)needed distance between them. The clown hissed when the cock slipped out without warning, leaving him empty and frustrated as he wobbled on his own two feet again. But he was furious for a whole other reason right now. Namely, his Bat being difficult again, despite everything that had happened.

“It’s wrong,” Bruce provided another reason, or more like an excuse, as he turned away and tucked himself back in his pants, avoiding the madman’s eyes – looking at Joker would only make things more difficult for him to do what was necessary.

“Oh, don’t you get righteous with me! Not after what we just did!” Joker was positively fuming as he pulled his pants up, but didn’t even bother zipping them before he forced the vigilante to turn around and face him once again. He was not going to hide and pretend this time, not if Joker had anything to say about it! 

“Hey, look at me, you silly Bat!” And just to make sure that Batman was really listening, he took hold of his face with both hands to keep him from looking away. “Don’t you dare act as if there’s nothing between us! That would be crueler than anything _I’ve_ ever done.” When it looked like Bruce was about to protest, Joker just shushed him with a finger pressed against his lips. “Who says you can’t fight _and_ fuck me? And who says it has to be right when it feels so good to be wrong every once in a while?” 

Joker smiled and wrapped his arms around Bruce’s neck then, leaning closer to him, just a breath away from his lips as he continued, whispering sweetly to his lover. “No one has to know all the dirty things we do when we’re alone. You’re still Batman and I’m still the Joker no matter what. You’re mine and I’m yours. To kill and to love.” Joker finally closed the unbearable distance between them and kissed all of Batman’s doubts away.

His resolve crumbled into pieces Bruce couldn’t hope to put back together again if he wanted to. He wrapped his arms around Joker’s waist and pulled the lanky man closer, kissing him back with a lot more determination and fervor, virtually devouring Joker whole. He poured all the conflicting feelings that raged inside him into the kiss. 

Damn Joker. Damn his silver tongue and evil, tempting ways. Damn Bruce, for falling hopelessly in love with him, despite how many alarms were going off in his head that this was a big mistake. There was no going back, that was a line that had been crossed already. All he could do now was find a way to work with it, without allowing his feelings to compromise what Batman stood for. That was a very tall order, but he’d faced more than his fair share of unsurmountable challenges before to back down from this one. How foolishly selfish of him.

Joker moaned and his body shivered at the intensity of the kiss, barely managing to tear himself away from his lover’s irresistible lips, pulling back only just a fraction, enough to be able to speak before Batman’s lips could lure in him again.

“Careful, Batsy, or you’re gonna get me all hot and bothered again. You better not start something you can’t finish.” The clown chuckled and stole another quick kiss, with a lot more bite this time.

“We can’t afford to stay here all night. And the police is probably still looking for you too.” Bruce licked his way inside Joker’s mouth again, reducing the clown to a moaning putty in his hands. “It’s time to go home.”

“If I must.” Joker smiled and stole another smooch because he just couldn’t help himself and stay away from his beloved. “Promise me something, darling.”

“What?”

“Promise me you’ll visit this time.” 

Bruce had to look away from the puppy dog eyes that Joker was giving him. Now his arch nemesis was really playing dirty. He had absolutely no right looking this cute.

Bruce gave in. It was inevitable.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

**Author's Note:**

> First off, it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to write and edit this. I love pain and suffering too much cause I enjoyed writing it nevertheless. In between work, real life and trying to stay sane (and failing), it's been a real struggle and a miracle that I've managed this much, it turned out to be a lot longer than I thought. But hey, who doesn't like long fics, right? Right...
> 
> Also, I'd like to thank @bloodybess110 for the emotional support and for being there when I needed someone to talk to, rant, share ideas with. God knows I've filled her ears enough with my endless rambling about fandom or everything, really.
> 
> And finally, I'd like to thank you lovely readers for giving this fic a chance and getting this far. I really hope it was a nice and entertaining little diversion from real life. Maybe you can leave a small (or long, or any kind of) comment down below if you liked it? It would mean a lot to me! Like, so much, you have no idea! <3
> 
> Edit: Yo, guys, the awesome [@thescarypaper](https://thescarypaper.tumblr.com/post/619940728109465600/just-had-to-draw-this-scene-from-the-wonderful) on tumblr did an amazing piece inspired by this fic. Give them some love!!! Their art is absolutely wonderful! 💚


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